Dear Friends and Supporters:
I sit here this evening, five months after having posted last, ten months after having lost my beautiful Mike, and reflect upon the journey I have been on. It has been nothing like I expected, and nothing that has happened could I have predicted. I want to tell each and every one of you that I feel so blessed and honored that you chose to give your hard earned money to my fight to help Save Leah's House. We had children selling cookies for us, we had college students holding bake sales, we had friends writing checks, and people we never knew sending donations and passing along the website in an effort to help me save our home, not for me, but for my daughter.
In the end, you all generously donated over $10,000 to help Leah and me. It was stunning. You also donated your time and talents and gifts in other ways--Leah and I were both adopted by and spoiled by Secret Santas, friends came and treated her and me to good times together and separately. I've had babysitting, I've had meals, I've had friends to hold my hand and dry my tears. It has been moving and exceptional.
I sit here still in arrears from August on my mortgage. My dear friend offered to do my legal work pro bono and has been engaged in battle with the mortgage companies in attempting to get a new modification. She has kindly taken over this work so that I need not stress over it all. Unfortunately she has not gotten word as to what's what and who's who, running into similar stumbling blocks as I did. But she perseveres.
The bureaucrats handling my survivors case at the VA have risen to new levels of ineptitude that have left Leah and I uninsured health-wise, and has cost us lots of money besides. I am grateful to the offices of Congressman Rob Wittman and Senator Mark Warner for helping to get things shuttled through more quickly than they might otherwise have done.
A good friend of mine has taken over my financial affairs. As a professional financial advisor, he has helped me make sound and responsible decisions with the money I do have, and has helped me prepare better not only for my future but for Leah's future as well.
I have returned to school. This semester has been extremely difficult and challenging, not only in the coursework which has been ample, but also in re-learning to concentrate, to focus, and to manage my time. It has been a struggle, but I persevere. My academic advisor has been exceptional at taking my class and helping me to know what path to choose, and as of May 8th, I will be halfway through my master's degree.
Leah and I continue to struggle without Mike. I tell myself every night when I am lonely that I will most certainly call one of the millions of friends who says they are available, but ultimately I live for Wednesday nights for my widows group, where I feel I come home to my people, and Friday afternoons and my "writing your grief" group, where I also feel understood. Leah sees her counselor only twice a month now, and has recently realized that she is adopted and has another family out there. The death of her father and the clearer understanding of how she came to be ours has been difficult and confusing and tumultuous. We persevere.
Leah is now four, and finishing her first year of pre-school. I have affectionately dubbed her "Hell On Wheels", as she loves to ride her bike with a fury and is fearless of hills and garbage trucks and the like. She is hilarious, uses huge words like "scrumptious" and "amazing", regularly tells me "Be cool, Mama, be cool!" and loves everyone she meets. She is adventurous and sweet and silly and stubborn, just like her daddy was. She loves She-Ra and He-Man, and has dubbed herself "The Whammer" as her superhero identity.
I write this now not only to update you all on where we are, but to thank you all and to say that I decided several months ago not to pursue this project. I received early criticism from several family members and decided that in the end, it would not matter, as long as the project succeeded and I secured my daughter's future. As the months have worn on, new and different family members and friends have begun to criticize me over my other activities, and I do not wish to live under a shroud of suspicion.
To date, not one single penny of the money raised from this website has been used for anything other than to make the initial payment to CitiMortgage which I videotaped. I would like to make this clear. I would further like to state that not one penny of the money that was generously raised to send Leah to college has been touched--it is in a bank account that is set aside for her college and which I cannot access. To date, not one single penny of the small savings account Mike and I had built has been touched.
My bills remain current with the sole exception of the mortgage. I continue to live credit card debt free. The government did provide limited federal survivor life insurance benefits. The full amount of that benefit was turned over to my financial advisor and put into accounts for my daughter's future, with the exception of a small amount for each of my nephews and my niece, as well as enough money to buy a car and secure an apartment as needed in the future. The remainder is being placed in trust or in IRA's for the future. There was not enough money to begin to cover the outstanding amount of the mortgages.
Consequently, I have decided to prepare for the future instead of worrying about the present. I will return to work in September 2014, when Leah enters kindergarten. Until that time, I will continue to live frugally and within the limits of my social security benefits, which Mike paid into for years for just such an eventuality, and which I do not feel badly about drawing on.
I have taken a couple of trips in the past several months--and I will take at least two more trips in the coming months. Travel allows me the freedom to escape sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, and it also allows me the chance to reconnect with family and friends. I always thought, "well, someday..." but Mike's death has only gone to show that none of us is guaranteed a "someday". I recently was able to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousin in Texas. I haven't seen them in over a decade. Besides paying for our plane tickets, the trip was basically free, and it was an absolute joy to visit them, spend a week, and see the sights in a new place I'd never been before. Next week, we will travel to Atlanta GA and ingratiate ourselves on my best friends. In June, we will go to Ecuador, to which flights are extremely inexpensive, and stay with my brother and his wife. But apparently all of this has caused some consternation in certain members of my family and possibly among friends.
I do not want anyone to feel that they have been defrauded or that I have misrepresented myself in any way through the fundraising I have attempted with this website. Consequently, and because with the exception of the nearly $2,000 I spent to pay CitiMortgage I have not spent any of the money raised, I would like to formally issue a statement that anyone who wishes to have a refund of some or all of the money they donated to save our home will be fully refunded, no questions asked. to request a refund, please send me an email at s u s a n k ( a t) m k o s i o r (d o t) c o m. I have kept records from PayPal of all the names and amounts donated, so I should be able to easily locate you, and refund you whatever portion of your donation you would like back.
For anyone who chooses to leave their money in my hands, as I have previously stated, whether I succeeded or not, I would use the money towards our future housing needs. I have considered making a charity donation, but I felt it would be difficult to choose an appropriate charity not really knowing where so many different people would like their money to go.
I do not wish to live under a cloud of suspicion. I do not want people to see my activities and think "Well, she can afford all that but not her house". I don't want people to wonder if I've used their money for anything other than what it was intended.
I thank all of you who gave selflessly and have continued to love us without judgment. I offer refunds to those of you who feel that I have been in any way dishonest or dishonorable. I beg your understanding that right now, getting out and away is how I feel I can best handle the whirlwind of emotions and struggles I am facing. I thank you for your time, your generosity, your feedback, and your kindness.
With love,
Susan and Leah
I sit here this evening, five months after having posted last, ten months after having lost my beautiful Mike, and reflect upon the journey I have been on. It has been nothing like I expected, and nothing that has happened could I have predicted. I want to tell each and every one of you that I feel so blessed and honored that you chose to give your hard earned money to my fight to help Save Leah's House. We had children selling cookies for us, we had college students holding bake sales, we had friends writing checks, and people we never knew sending donations and passing along the website in an effort to help me save our home, not for me, but for my daughter.
In the end, you all generously donated over $10,000 to help Leah and me. It was stunning. You also donated your time and talents and gifts in other ways--Leah and I were both adopted by and spoiled by Secret Santas, friends came and treated her and me to good times together and separately. I've had babysitting, I've had meals, I've had friends to hold my hand and dry my tears. It has been moving and exceptional.
I sit here still in arrears from August on my mortgage. My dear friend offered to do my legal work pro bono and has been engaged in battle with the mortgage companies in attempting to get a new modification. She has kindly taken over this work so that I need not stress over it all. Unfortunately she has not gotten word as to what's what and who's who, running into similar stumbling blocks as I did. But she perseveres.
The bureaucrats handling my survivors case at the VA have risen to new levels of ineptitude that have left Leah and I uninsured health-wise, and has cost us lots of money besides. I am grateful to the offices of Congressman Rob Wittman and Senator Mark Warner for helping to get things shuttled through more quickly than they might otherwise have done.
A good friend of mine has taken over my financial affairs. As a professional financial advisor, he has helped me make sound and responsible decisions with the money I do have, and has helped me prepare better not only for my future but for Leah's future as well.
I have returned to school. This semester has been extremely difficult and challenging, not only in the coursework which has been ample, but also in re-learning to concentrate, to focus, and to manage my time. It has been a struggle, but I persevere. My academic advisor has been exceptional at taking my class and helping me to know what path to choose, and as of May 8th, I will be halfway through my master's degree.
Leah and I continue to struggle without Mike. I tell myself every night when I am lonely that I will most certainly call one of the millions of friends who says they are available, but ultimately I live for Wednesday nights for my widows group, where I feel I come home to my people, and Friday afternoons and my "writing your grief" group, where I also feel understood. Leah sees her counselor only twice a month now, and has recently realized that she is adopted and has another family out there. The death of her father and the clearer understanding of how she came to be ours has been difficult and confusing and tumultuous. We persevere.
Leah is now four, and finishing her first year of pre-school. I have affectionately dubbed her "Hell On Wheels", as she loves to ride her bike with a fury and is fearless of hills and garbage trucks and the like. She is hilarious, uses huge words like "scrumptious" and "amazing", regularly tells me "Be cool, Mama, be cool!" and loves everyone she meets. She is adventurous and sweet and silly and stubborn, just like her daddy was. She loves She-Ra and He-Man, and has dubbed herself "The Whammer" as her superhero identity.
I write this now not only to update you all on where we are, but to thank you all and to say that I decided several months ago not to pursue this project. I received early criticism from several family members and decided that in the end, it would not matter, as long as the project succeeded and I secured my daughter's future. As the months have worn on, new and different family members and friends have begun to criticize me over my other activities, and I do not wish to live under a shroud of suspicion.
To date, not one single penny of the money raised from this website has been used for anything other than to make the initial payment to CitiMortgage which I videotaped. I would like to make this clear. I would further like to state that not one penny of the money that was generously raised to send Leah to college has been touched--it is in a bank account that is set aside for her college and which I cannot access. To date, not one single penny of the small savings account Mike and I had built has been touched.
My bills remain current with the sole exception of the mortgage. I continue to live credit card debt free. The government did provide limited federal survivor life insurance benefits. The full amount of that benefit was turned over to my financial advisor and put into accounts for my daughter's future, with the exception of a small amount for each of my nephews and my niece, as well as enough money to buy a car and secure an apartment as needed in the future. The remainder is being placed in trust or in IRA's for the future. There was not enough money to begin to cover the outstanding amount of the mortgages.
Consequently, I have decided to prepare for the future instead of worrying about the present. I will return to work in September 2014, when Leah enters kindergarten. Until that time, I will continue to live frugally and within the limits of my social security benefits, which Mike paid into for years for just such an eventuality, and which I do not feel badly about drawing on.
I have taken a couple of trips in the past several months--and I will take at least two more trips in the coming months. Travel allows me the freedom to escape sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, and it also allows me the chance to reconnect with family and friends. I always thought, "well, someday..." but Mike's death has only gone to show that none of us is guaranteed a "someday". I recently was able to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousin in Texas. I haven't seen them in over a decade. Besides paying for our plane tickets, the trip was basically free, and it was an absolute joy to visit them, spend a week, and see the sights in a new place I'd never been before. Next week, we will travel to Atlanta GA and ingratiate ourselves on my best friends. In June, we will go to Ecuador, to which flights are extremely inexpensive, and stay with my brother and his wife. But apparently all of this has caused some consternation in certain members of my family and possibly among friends.
I do not want anyone to feel that they have been defrauded or that I have misrepresented myself in any way through the fundraising I have attempted with this website. Consequently, and because with the exception of the nearly $2,000 I spent to pay CitiMortgage I have not spent any of the money raised, I would like to formally issue a statement that anyone who wishes to have a refund of some or all of the money they donated to save our home will be fully refunded, no questions asked. to request a refund, please send me an email at s u s a n k ( a t) m k o s i o r (d o t) c o m. I have kept records from PayPal of all the names and amounts donated, so I should be able to easily locate you, and refund you whatever portion of your donation you would like back.
For anyone who chooses to leave their money in my hands, as I have previously stated, whether I succeeded or not, I would use the money towards our future housing needs. I have considered making a charity donation, but I felt it would be difficult to choose an appropriate charity not really knowing where so many different people would like their money to go.
I do not wish to live under a cloud of suspicion. I do not want people to see my activities and think "Well, she can afford all that but not her house". I don't want people to wonder if I've used their money for anything other than what it was intended.
I thank all of you who gave selflessly and have continued to love us without judgment. I offer refunds to those of you who feel that I have been in any way dishonest or dishonorable. I beg your understanding that right now, getting out and away is how I feel I can best handle the whirlwind of emotions and struggles I am facing. I thank you for your time, your generosity, your feedback, and your kindness.
With love,
Susan and Leah
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